How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
I recently had the privilege of attending a Dale Carnegie course. It was one of the better training experiences I have had. Much of the training in influence today is based on personality assessments, and trying to tailor one's argument to one of several personality types. This can be counterproductive, because you have to train yourself to identify the various types, then to tailor your message to each of them. And what happens if you are presenting to several people at once, and they are different types?
The reason How to Win Friends and Influence people has been so successful for so long is that the tools outlined in the book can be universally applied. After the training, I decided that I could reinforce the teachings by doing homework. The first set of posts was collected in "How to Become a Friendlier Person." The next set presents Carnegie's tips for How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking.
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong."
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
There is a good deal of overlap between the principles, which is another way they can help to reinforce each other. I continue to try to practice them and have benefitted from writing these articles. I hope you have found them useful too.
See also: How to Become a Friendlier Person